Wollongong)
by Daptoid

The way points of this bicycle route:

North Wollongong

Start here for beers in the afternoon. Remeber it is important to be tanked enough by 4pm. The girls at iHouse own the road will be starting to come home by then. Take up position on veranda couch with beer. Remeber you look like a bogan, but these foreign chicks are up for anything - so don't be shy.

North Gong Hotel

If no luck with the internation chickies head over to the North Gong around 6pm. Chicks tend to be older and rougher, but again for the most part keen. watch out for angry boyfreinds with Motorhead shirts.

Foodworld

No later than 8pm head to foodworld for a Spicy Bubba. The chicks in here are usually terrible looking asians (nothing against asians, the ones here are just ugly) - they are on $8 an hour so if you have some money these chicks will be impressed. Ask Tim he knows how to work it.

Masterbuilders Club

Short stop only, chances are an ex-girlfriend or two will already be here. Get a cheap beer or two and then continue onto the beach bar.

Beach Bar

From about 9pm this place is usually full of good tail. Remember the youg chicks (the good ones) will drink themselves silly early. Your job is to get one to go to the beach with you - rmemeber always before midnight; if a chick that is going to root you on the beach is still there at midnight .. well you're not going to want to tell your mates about her.

Stuart Park

A little discretion always helps. Take that young slapper down here, remember don't go too far pukkies is full of poofs. If possible aim to get your mate hooked up at the same time, it's a ten minute walk from the bar to here and if you can set up a tag-team before you go it saves a lot of effort later. It also makes it easier to ditch the chicks if they have a freind there.

The Glasshouse

This place stays open late. If no joy so far head here - be warned your ex is probably here (so too a bunch of other folk previously at the Builders Club). Rear fence is jump overable don't queue up at the door go round the back. By now all the goo chicks will be taken, but many a drunken gang bang has been organised here with the dregs.

Mimos

Only if you are real desperate. You will get laid here if you haven't already. The joint is full of desperate old boilers - but be warned while they root, they are old and they are boilers and they want to love you. Do not take one home, they cannot know where you live. The place is officially a restaurant so nosh down on the plate of crab sticks they give you with the cover charge.

Chequers

A gay bar. Be carefull full of poofs - but still draws a reasonable crowd of single chickie-babes ; well the babe part is wrong but you know what I mean. High on the quantity low on the quality sort of place.

7-11

Always remember 7-11 on the way home. by now you are either dehdrated or depressed. Get a slurpee and a sausage roll, beleive me you will thank me in the morning. Also a good chance to get rid of any hanger ons, request the toilet key from the attendant and piss off home.